Grateful Still

If you know me well, you know I hate Thanksgiving food.  I don’t care how you cook it; turkey is bland and dry.  While I don’t mind an occasional serving of stove-top stuffing, dressing is a no-go.  I can live without mashed potatoes and honestly prefer the instant kind if I’m going to eat them.  (I know I’m weird.)  Brown gravy is revolting, and giblet gravy (whatever that is) just sounds disgusting and is not entering my mouth.  Green bean casserole is not terrible, but I’d rather just have regular old green beans.  Or, I can put away some green bean bundles.  I love sweet potatoes, but candied yams, no thanks.  That’s a good way to ruin some sweet potatoes.  If you douse it with enough whipped cream, I can eat pumpkin pie, but it is definitely not worth the calories.  So, basically, I eat a roll at Thanksgiving and a few nibbles of the other stuff and long for a greasy bacon cheeseburger with hot, salty fries.

My Mom knows very well how I feel about the traditional Thanksgiving fare.  Yet still, nine Thanksgivings out of ten, we’re all seated at the table for lunch.  My family has their plates.  I have my mostly empty plate.  And, Mom says, “Sam, will you say the blessing?”  Though I’m not going to lie and tell you I haven’t ever been tempted to shoot her a look and then be sarcastic and pray, “Lord, thank you for this food, and I’ll be even more grateful if you make it taste like a taco,” I remind myself to behave and offer an appropriate blessing.  And, if praying the prayer over Thanksgiving lunch most years has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes in life you have to be thankful for things you don’t like, a valuable and appropriate life-lesson for 2020.

As I’m quite certain is true for most (and probably everyone alive), 2020 has not been the best year of my life.  But, being grateful when it’s easy to be grateful doesn’t mean nearly as much as being grateful when it would be very easy not to be.  Besides that, I know my 2020 struggles pale in comparison to those of some.

After fighting for months over the issues with my mobile home, was my inspection being canceled due to COVID when it was only a week and a half away and there wasn’t a single case in my county or any of the surrounding counties devastating?  Yep.  Did my temper erupt in all of its fury?  Yep.  Did the fact that said inspection being canceled eventually resulted in my complaint just being dropped thoroughly tick me off?  You bet it did.  Did that temper of mine erupt again?  Uh-huh.  But, you know what?  After I calmed down (which, granted, took a while), I realized I didn’t care that the patch jobs on my ceilings were already cracking again, that I still had bubbled, ugly flooring in my kitchen, a warped door where the furnace is, and one leaky sink.  I realized I was just so glad to be done dealing with those people, to be done fighting.  I realized peace of mind is just worth far more.  And, even though three men who supposedly do that work for a living couldn’t figure it out, Dad’s brother was able to cross the leaky sink off the list for me, so I’m grateful for that too.

Has wearing a mask over 40 hours a week for the bulk of this year been fun?  Not particularly no.  But, am I so grateful I just had to deal with new safety regulations and not being laid off?  Absolutely!  I’m a workaholic.  I genuinely like to work, and like anyone, I like a steady paycheck.  So, even with the mask and screenings and everything else, I’m still super grateful.

October marked a year living in my mobile home, and I have to admit, as much as I desperately wanted to be out on my own, it was harder than I expected it to be.  When you already work three jobs and decide to throw in more bills plus all the cooking, cleaning, yardwork, etc., etc., it’s a lot.  Were there times when my home wasn’t as clean as I wanted it to be?  Yes.  As much as I want to be the kind of person with a clutter-free kitchen table, is mine often hard to find?  Yep.  Did I forget towels in the dryer one time?  Yes.  Are there sometimes dirty dishes in my sink?  Pretty often.  Did I make a million horrible messes in my kitchen?  Maybe not quite that many, but there were a lot.  Did I fall almost every time I mowed my yard?  Yep.  Did I survive?  Yes.  Am I grateful for all the little life lessons I learned?  Very grateful.  Am I still glad to live on my own?  Yes, yes!

While it may not be how I make ends meet, For the Journey is by far my most important work if you ask me.  So, was watching orders dwindle away because churches aren’t having Sunday School incredibly hard to cope with?  Yep.  Do I have really strong opinions about that?  Yes, but I will keep them to myself.  Still, it made me more grateful for the orders I have had this year.  And, while I would like to believe I still would have started the 30-Day Devotionals, I know it would have taken me a lot longer if orders hadn’t been slower, so that’s something else to be grateful for.  Plus, other people lost their livelihoods in this pandemic, so I really can’t complain.

As most of you already know, my grandma passed away this year as well, and watching her health deteriorate and then saying goodbye was heart-wrenching to say the least.  But, even in that, there was so much to be grateful for.  First and foremost, I’m grateful her suffering is over, and I have the hope of seeing her again someday.  Beyond that, though, I know people whose loved ones either died alone in a hospital or suffered for extended periods of time alone in a hospital because of all the COVID restrictions, and I can’t even fathom having to cope with that.  We were blessed, so blessed.  And, I suppose it may be kind of odd, but in a way, I’m grateful she’s missed so much by so many because it just shows what a legacy she left behind.  She loved much and was loved much in return, and that’s awesome.

I shared examples from my 2020 struggles because I can really only speak for myself.  But, chances are, as you read through them, you thought of your own.  I hope you were also able to count some blessings in those struggles because God is still good even when life’s not so great.  When we’re sick to death of COVID and politics, when our heart is more broken then it’s ever been before, when we have far more tears than smiles, there’s still reason to be grateful.  And, for believers, even if we were to reach the point where the only thing we had to be grateful for was our salvation through the work of Christ on our behalf (which I honestly doubt any of us ever will, but if we did), well, that would be beyond enough reason to be grateful still. 

So, I know this Thanksgiving is different and weird and going to be downright hard for a lot of people like the entire year has been.  Be grateful anyway.  That in itself will make it better.

“In every thing give thanks:  for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” -1 Thessalonians 5:18

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